Choices and Cheese Burgers: How We Spent the One Year Anniversary of His Suicide 03/07/2017 I had to make a lot of choices during the first year following my husband John’s suicide. Choices I was ill-equipped to make considering the fact that in those early days, my shock-saturated brain kept making me leave the house with two completely different types of sandals on my feet. Decisions such as, sell the house or keep it? roll John’s retirement fund into my Roth IRA or cash it out to pay off his debt? and the routine middle-of-the-night panic attack I affectionately named the, “how
I had to make a lot of choices during the first year following my husband John’s suicide. Choices I was ill-equipped to make considering the fact that in those early days, my shock-saturated brain kept making me leave the house with two completely different types of sandals on my feet. Decisions such as, sell the house or keep it? roll John’s retirement fund into my Roth IRA or cash it out to pay off his debt? and the routine middle-of-the-night panic attack I affectionately named the, “how
Why I Stayed 12/13/2016 People always ask me why I stayed. “If my husband ever cheated,” they say with so much confidence, “I’d leave in a heartbeat!” The thing about heartbeats though, is that they have a different rhythm when your heart has been shattered. Their beats become prolonged, and then sometimes staccato-ed, and almost always inaudible. Broken hearts make decisions that whole hearts cannot fathom. To articulate the answer to this very important question, I searched my stack of journals that served as my
People always ask me why I stayed. “If my husband ever cheated,” they say with so much confidence, “I’d leave in a heartbeat!” The thing about heartbeats though, is that they have a different rhythm when your heart has been shattered. Their beats become prolonged, and then sometimes staccato-ed, and almost always inaudible. Broken hearts make decisions that whole hearts cannot fathom. To articulate the answer to this very important question, I searched my stack of journals that served as my
I Wore a White Dress To My Husband's Funeral Because 12/09/2016 I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because it was March in the desert and I was hot. I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because I lost eight pounds that week, and it was the only thing that fit. I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because it made me feel pretty. I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because being pretty was the only thing I knew to be true about myself that day. I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because it was the last
I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because it was March in the desert and I was hot. I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because I lost eight pounds that week, and it was the only thing that fit. I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because it made me feel pretty. I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because being pretty was the only thing I knew to be true about myself that day. I wore a white dress to my husband’s funeral, because it was the last
5 Shitty Things People Say to Widows Pt 1 12/04/2016 5 Shitty Things People Say to Widows Pt1 (yes, these are direct quotes): 1. "So, when do you think you'll re-marry?" Gee, I don't know, let me just finish up with this funeral nonsense,and then I'll get back to you on that. 2. "I guess you wont be getting any life insurance now...you know, it being suicide and all" Thank you for that uplifting insight. 3. "You're not really alone, you know. You have Jesus" Great, why don't you tell Jesus to take out the damn trash and help me pick out the
5 Shitty Things People Say to Widows Pt1 (yes, these are direct quotes): 1. "So, when do you think you'll re-marry?" Gee, I don't know, let me just finish up with this funeral nonsense,and then I'll get back to you on that. 2. "I guess you wont be getting any life insurance now...you know, it being suicide and all" Thank you for that uplifting insight. 3. "You're not really alone, you know. You have Jesus" Great, why don't you tell Jesus to take out the damn trash and help me pick out the
