4 Michelle-Approved Methods to Avoid the Holiday Season 11/28/2016 I hate the holidays. There, I said it. I wasn’t always this way of course, but something about life in post-infidelity and post-spousal-suicide land just brings out the Grinch in me, call me crazy (like my therapist did that first year when he wrote a note to my doctor pleading with her to put me on Effexor). This year, I am approaching my sixth round of holidays since my Martha Stewart-esk-self was metaphorically murdered in the fall of 2011, and I want to share with you all how I have managed
I hate the holidays. There, I said it. I wasn’t always this way of course, but something about life in post-infidelity and post-spousal-suicide land just brings out the Grinch in me, call me crazy (like my therapist did that first year when he wrote a note to my doctor pleading with her to put me on Effexor). This year, I am approaching my sixth round of holidays since my Martha Stewart-esk-self was metaphorically murdered in the fall of 2011, and I want to share with you all how I have managed
Rage, Like Beyonce 11/25/2016 The best part about my husband’s affairs was the shopping. It was all pretty much downhill after that. It is December of 2011 and according to the scale this morning, I have dropped thirty pounds since opening the vulva video emails from my husband’s girlfriend two months ago. My husband's girlfriend....feel free to read that last sentence as may times as you need to for the horror to sink in. I am in desperate need of work pants that aren’t being folded over and safety pinned to keep from
The best part about my husband’s affairs was the shopping. It was all pretty much downhill after that. It is December of 2011 and according to the scale this morning, I have dropped thirty pounds since opening the vulva video emails from my husband’s girlfriend two months ago. My husband's girlfriend....feel free to read that last sentence as may times as you need to for the horror to sink in. I am in desperate need of work pants that aren’t being folded over and safety pinned to keep from
Your Soulmate Does Not Have a Penis, and Other Things I Would Say to my 18 Year Old Self 10/28/2016 Dearest 18 Year Old Michelle, When that one guy at that one rave tells you to inhale something from a pipe because, ‘It’s only a little bit of pot’ don't smoke it. Or smoke it, but know that it is most definitely not just, 'a little bit of pot.' Don't go in the Porta Potty on your right, go to the one on your left. You cannot un-see the things you will see in the Porta Potty on your right. Do not ever step foot in a church again except when you are forced to on your son's fourth grade
Dearest 18 Year Old Michelle, When that one guy at that one rave tells you to inhale something from a pipe because, ‘It’s only a little bit of pot’ don't smoke it. Or smoke it, but know that it is most definitely not just, 'a little bit of pot.' Don't go in the Porta Potty on your right, go to the one on your left. You cannot un-see the things you will see in the Porta Potty on your right. Do not ever step foot in a church again except when you are forced to on your son's fourth grade
